Monday, December 15


At this time of year, I'm usually trying to rush December out the back door and make my living room warm and cozy for January. I'm rattling of "gonna do"s, pseudo-promises and earnest resolutions on paper and in conversation, and getting rid of tons of junk but always forgetting to create a place for what remains.

This year is different.

I started purging my apartment in September. It has been a slower, more thoughtful process than in past years, and I can say, finally and with a smile, that everything in my space is beautiful and useful and has a place.

And I'm not shooing December away because what the next couple of weeks have the potential to be rather amazing. It would be wrong to see past the time off from work and the trip with K. Every day he calls me with another idea of how we could spend the time together, and I think to myself Is this my man? This is my man and I am loving him.

Change comes, always. I feel no inclination to create resolutions or even check off the things I'd resolved to do last December. I did and felt and created and lost (and regained) and discovered and watched and read and heard and internalized many wonderful and complicated and ugly things - tangible or not.

The plan, though I may not have noticed it at the time, is to live a life.

No comments: