New Beginnings

This week has been full of meaningful conversations with educators, parents, students, therapists, and a boyfriend who doesn't know how to put things nicely... all reminding me that I have been complacent with and have even, at times, perpetuated a lot of the negativity of my school.

I really gave them/am giving them all I can, but a lot is lost in translation. A lot is lost in the trying trying trying but never seeming to get it right enough.
I love my kids and that means leaving so that I can become a better teacher elsewhere. If only I could pack them up and bring them with me. We have a lot of healing to do, yes?

In seeking my well-being, I know I gotta ask for forgiveness, never forget, and start over. A woman told me not to get caught up (in guilt) about the kids I am leaving. Instead, focus on the ones who I will be coming to. She used the airplane oxygen mask analogy. I've been trying to give the kids the things I'm not even taking the time to give to myself.
My summer will be about, among other things, replenishing myself. And even if I go through a bunch of interviews and don't end up at a "dream" school, I'm putting the energy out to end up in a school that aspires to be one. Where I am now... is a place where hostility and injustice thrives. No more. Not in my name.

Also... I'm --->| |<---- that close to adopting a kitten. Just gotta make sure I'm ready.