Sunday Shine* { Back From The Bay }

It's always difficult returning to NYC, no matter where I've been or how long I've been away. I'm based in Brooklyn, still love Brooklyn, love my apartment, but I never feel like I'm returning to a place that's truly familiar, even though I've been living here for seven years. I can't shake that feeling of something being very off-balance.

I took a red eye flight from SFO and arrived at JFK yesterday morning. We descended from the clouds to a very grey and white NYC, a real contrast to the surprising blue skies, sunshine, murals and blooms that brightened San Francisco. The flight was uncomfortable and I spent a good amount of time in and out of sleep, thinking about how much I do not want to walk into the school on Monday and how much I need to change things about my life my job in general.

My visit to San Francisco was a series of days where I just kept imagining what my life can be.
It wasn't anything about SF particularly. Just leaving my block can get my mind wandering. When I'm on the other side of the country and I'm wandering around a new area for hours, it's easy to think of possibilities. I wandered up and down the hills with no ipod, no cellphone, no map, no agenda - just my ideas and memories being tossed around in my mind. Everything - my job, my wanderlust, my friendships, my health and emotional well-being, my financial situation, and all my identities - collided together while I was walking around. I don't want to be complacent with being unhappy about how things are (I am not following my bliss) and being fearful of making changes was never a good excuse. No one can show me how, I just have to do it.

But I am not miserable. I enjoyed the weekend, continued to do nothing except eat, sleep, read and dance around.
It was a pleasure exploring the Bay. SF and Berkeley are beautiful, have a lot of charm. I met so many people who were open to good conversation. I found heaven in Cafe Gratitude, the food is divine.
I'm proud and that I saved up money for my trip and stuck to my budget, but also grateful that I was able to enjoy amazing food and buy lots of pretty little things for myself.
And an old friend hooked me up with New Amerykah a few days early - it's hot!