Through It

It's neither regret or relief that I feel now; just acceptance of what I did. I broke down on the examination table. Convulsing with tears. These sweet women held my head and hands and wiped my tears. I forgave myself in the shower, after leaving the doctor's office. I will never again put myself in a situation where I need to make this decision.
I'm working on cleaning up my space because whenever I clear an area, a good part of my mind clears as well. My friends told me reach out to them whenever I need to, but of course, everyone's playing married and nobody's picking up the phone. (To those of you who wrote emails and comments to me, thank you. I kept your words with me, you really helped me). I feel very lonely, but stronger, like I'm armed with experience and clarity. May was bad. June will be better. I want to feel fine by July.