Thursday, April 19

Nothing Left For Me To Do But Dance

My Favorite Things at APT on Tuesday brought out the happiness that I'd been suffocating for years. Really. Years. There was no way I could hold it back.
Karizma is a healer.
And Lopes and Maria Full of Grace gave me the most beautiful welcome. I am so blessed to have them, my sisters.
And Ibrahim was there and as soon as I saw him, my mind went back to the first time I went to a Rude party - 4 years already?! - and how much fun I'd had then. Of course, unhappy me fell out of touch. Felt good to be back back in it. He had some real sweet words for me. Much love to him for not being afraid to speak them.
Lopes and Maria and I were just drunk on being out on a school night and being pretty and acting sooooooooo silly (love notes and lip glosses kisses on napkins for cute boys) and y'all, I danced. Got lost and found within the chorus "Heaven is in you". Lost that part of me that is just always worried about every goddamn thing. That part of my that I'm so ------- sick of. Glad to say that part of me was destroyed Tuesday night. I swear I was just dancing and then I opened my eyes and there were people all around me, watching, and some man was taking pictures of me. I was just dancing and smiling and laughing with my girls and it wasn't ego that was keeping me going. It was really just that beat I found, that I wasn't trying to run away from anymore.
So I've been high off that moment since then. I managed to sleep for an hour, get up early and go to school, and have a real nice reading and discussion about We Real Cool with my students - "Yo... that's hot," they said.

No comments: