April Fool Shine*

My first steps into Spring Break have been unbalanced.
I say First Love, who says he still loves me ("never stopped") - where do we go from here? And last night... what were we thinking? I don't think I'll ever find out. Keeping distance and keeping silent seem like the best moves to make.

I'll put it aside.


The teaching vacancies are listed this month. Spring is here. It'll rain, no doubt. The semester is winding down. I still have the all the inspirations of Sahara Special and WMC in my mind pushing me to find a job I need to do, not a job that needs me. I hope to push through the next three months with big projects, worksheets, movies and fieldtrips. I'm keeping it easy, as I only have 2 more sick days left. No use in wasting the springtime on feeling sad all the time.

Last night I wasn't surprised to learn I'm becoming known as the girl who doesn't smile at parties. I'm easily distracted, things have no problem getting under my skin or clouding my vision. My friend's excused me: "The night it happens isn't the night you should expect yourself to get over it." But these things happen too often. Rooms full of pretty people - who act like they don't know you regardless of how many times you've been introduced - dancing to house music aren't enough to snap me out of it.